You are the Best

Summary 

• One of the most powerful things you can do for yourself and those you influence is to develop an unshakable concept of self.
• You have the choice of how to feel and think about yourself.
• Believing and knowing you are the best, while remaining humble, offers you the opportunity to lead yourself and others with confidence, compassion and wisdom.

Last week, I had the opportunity to sit with a group of men when the discussion took a turn from loose and playful to deeply reflective. One of the men confessed that he had been evaluating places where he felt stuck and where he was holding himself back.  This opened the discussion to allow reflection on issues and beliefs that were keeping others limited in their relationships, careers and physical and spiritual health. 

One younger man shared that anger was causing significant implications in his relationship with coworkers and her family.  Another member of the group divulged that he was often paralyzed by self doubt.  Two others declared procrastination as a culprit and another shared that guilt often got in the way of him showing up authentically, to himself and others.

As we worked through the details and impact of how these beliefs knitted themselves into daily life, the group concluded that although they were very different in their presentation and their inception, that all these limits came down to one thing: inadequacy.  

Inadequacy is a common theme among humans of both genders and of all ages.  Some of us are better than others at dealing with feelings of low self worth, allowing the thought of not being good enough to creep in only long enough to give it a nod and send it on its way with the determination to do better, to be better.  While many others get hung up on this completely, accepting inadequacy as a main identifier and the overwhelming concept driving self image.  

It’s not a mystery how so many wind up with inadequacy as at least an undercurrent of our operating system.  From the time we are very small, we hear constant messaging about doing things wrong, not to a certain expectation or standard or not doing them often enough, or at all.  This comes in the form of scolding, shame, punishment and criticism, both directly and passively, until all of this becomes a personal truth.  

So what do we do about it?

Simply: know you are the best.  If you have the ability to believe anything about yourself, and you do, why not choose to believe and focus on the most positive things?  Not only that you’re “good enough,” but that you are the best.

If you read that last sentence with resistance, maybe even with a scoff of disbelief, hear me out.  By the end of this entry, you might just be on your way to changing your entire life.    

All of our thoughts are nothing more than a group of words to which we assign meaning.  The thoughts we think repeatedly become beliefs which become our truth.  We use these truths to create understanding of ourselves and the world around us, and ultimately to architect our very existence, ourselves, our relationships and our human experience. 

Most of us have experienced the effects of perceiving ourselves as anything but the best, or even worse, the worst.  Likely most of us are all too familiar with the accompanying self doubt, indecision, lack of confidence and missed opportunities - all results of not believing we deserve, and thus not expecting or pursuing, the best.  But have you considered what would happen if you began to shift those beliefs to create a new truth?  And what if that truth is:

I am the best.  There is no one better than me.  

I don’t believe in “fake it ‘till you make it.” If you are reading this, and interested in your personal growth, you are too smart to convince yourself of something you intrinsically and historically believe to be untrue.  But I do believe we can create a truth that will allow us to believe something that would have a major impact on every thought, relationship and decision we make.  

Knowing you are the best is simply a mindset, a self concept - a way to think about yourself. 

It’s something you make a choice to believe. 

As you set your intention and focus on knowing you are the best, your brain will constantly be looking to confirm and make sense of this new belief.  Instead of finding yourself focusing on the things you don’t like about yourself and having these thoughts confirmed by circumstance and what you think others think about you, you will begin to notice all the things that truly make you the best.  You will come to understand that being the best means deserving the best, and living by this belief impacts nearly all aspects of your life - how you enter a room, how you dress, what you eat, how you work out, how you relate to others and how you present yourself.

Think about the people you know, personally or through media, who live lives that you believe to be successful - those who are the best at what they do: the wealthy, Olympic and professional athletes, executives.  How do they carry themselves? How do they dress? With whom do they surround themselves?

Now take a moment to evaluate your own life.  Do you take care of your body and eat the foods that you know are best?  Do you carry yourself in conversation with confidence in knowing you are the best?  Do you ask for, pursue, seek and accomplish with the knowing you deserve the best, because you are the best?

Knowing you are the best has nearly endless benefits, not only to you, but to all those around you.  Confidence is highly attractive, often contagious and certainly inspiring.  And as a leader, you have the ability to influence those around you to adopt this mindset as well.  

Knowing you are the best eliminates unhealthy behaviors, competition and comparing yourself to or feeling threatened by others.  Knowing you are the best destroys negative self-talk, superfluous self doubt and feelings of inadequacy, because when you know you are the best, there is no need to measure up to anyone’s standards, other than the highest that you set for yourself.  

Knowing you are the best isn’t the easiest concept to adopt.  For most, it takes regular focus and letting go of a very old set of beliefs that have led to your feeling insecure, unsure and inadequate.  This can be done by regularly evaluating your thoughts about who you are and how you realistically view yourself.  

Knowing you are the best is not to be confused with arrogance.  Although it sounds as if you are placing yourself above or ranking against others, being the best actually means you never compare yourself to anyone other than your best self.  It means evaluation and recalibration when necessary and a silent confidence when you are on par with your own standard and expectations.   

Being the best is a balance of self assurance while remaining humble to to feedback and experience, allowing yourself to gain understanding and wisdom in the face of failure and mistakes.

It’s a mindset that may take some getting used to, but if you are willing to believe that you truly are the best and continue striving to live as the best version of yourself, you will notice shifts that lead you to know that you are worthy of all the best that life has to offer through opportunities, your relationships, your health, your work and your life as a whole.  Final reminder: You are the best.  There is no one better than you.